The In Between Space with Kelly Conkright
“We all have so much to give when we share from our whole self.”
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Kelly Conkright
In this episode
Kelly takes us into the intersection of entrepreneurship and Self development, teaches us that we all have a brand, and how knowing your Self is more fun.
From the high performer archetype, to the shadow side of our genius, we illimunate how to unravel curation for the pleasure of the in between space.
Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or on your favorite podcast platform. Favorite quotes and a full transcript of this podcast can be found below.
About Kelly Conkright
Kelly Conkright is the founder of The Brand Terminal, an independent, global branding agency that launches brands for Fortune 500 companies, start-ups and personal brands. Kelly’s forthcoming book, “EVERYBODY HAS AN F’ING BRAND” lays out the importance of brand as your biggest asset in today’s modern landscape. Kelly has worked in several cities in the past 25 years including Kansas City, London, Paris, Denver, New York, Stockholm, and Los Angeles. She is a passionate speaker for brands like Adobe and Summit with a mission is to help others successfully follow their passion to live a purpose-driven life. Her personal brand sits at the intersection of psychology, self growth and creativity.
How To Connect With Kelly
Kelly's Website
Kelly's Personal Instagram
The Brand Terminal
LinkedIn
Favorite Quotes from the Podcast
“We know from the science of happiness that the number one biggest thing for happiness is sense of connection to community.” - Kelly Conkright
“Your superpower is also your Achilles heel. It wouldn't be a superpower if it didn't have a negative side or a shadow side.” - Kelly Conkright
Transcript of the Podcast
There are not enough good things I could say about this woman. Her energy is truly contagious and life brought us together in the most magical way and I cannot wait to see where that continues to go. Kelly Conkright is the founder of the Brand Terminal, an independent global branding agency that 500 companies, startups, and personal brands.
Kelly's forthcoming book, Everybody Has a Fucking Brand, lays out the importance of brand as your biggest asset in today's modern landscape. She is a passionate speaker for brands like Adobe and Summit, with a mission to help others successfully follow their passion to live a purpose driven life. Her personal brand sits at the intersection of psychology, self growth, and creativity.
I'm honored to call this woman a friend, a mentor, a partner, and an inspiration. Let's drop in.
[00:01:28] ERIKA STRAUB: That's so beautiful. That last piece, the combination of those three, I think is what makes your work so deeply special.
[00:01:36] KELLY CONKRIGHT: And that's why I like talking to people like you, because I've spent 25 years, which it's crazy when I say that out loud, I should stop saying the amount of years I spent 25 years going all around the world, building brands for big agencies, and then having my own and working with big companies and startups and now personal brands.
[00:01:53] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Um, but. Yeah, I think that, um, it's, I kind of lost my train of thought. Keep going. Keep going. Oh, yeah. Oh, I feel like we have to stop.
[00:02:09] ERIKA STRAUB: Want to start over?
[00:02:11] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Yeah. Okay.
[00:02:16] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Can you believe I just did that? Oh my gosh. Oh, I love it. You know how much permission you just gave me? Like. That is so crazy. Okay, so it's good that I'm starting. In an, in an interview situation like this, because what if I was on like the today show? You would have just kept going eventually. Oh my God.
[00:02:33] KELLY CONKRIGHT: That's hilarious. Love it. Um, cause what were you saying at the end? Because I did have a point about that.
[00:02:40] ERIKA STRAUB: Um, I just said, I love the blend of psychology, self growth and creativity.
[00:02:45] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Okay. Cause you know how I, in the, in the workshop and so we can start over here in a second. Um, I just talk about like going more towards the people you want if you're evolving your brand.
[00:02:56] KELLY CONKRIGHT: And so as I evolve my brain in psychology, hanging out with people like you is everything, right? Um, okay. So what if we. I'm just going to start all the way over. Cause we, cause we have the first segment at the beginning, but then maybe you introduce me again and then we'll go from there. I'm
[00:03:12] ERIKA STRAUB: going to read your bio again and great.
[00:03:15] ERIKA STRAUB: Okay,
[00:03:15] KELLY CONKRIGHT: perfect.
[00:03:17] ERIKA STRAUB: I love how happy this makes me, like, like, thank you. Like this
[00:03:25] KELLY CONKRIGHT: is dying right now. Also, by the way, it's said in your bio that you grew up playing sports, which is like a big piece of me that informed how I moved through group connection.
[00:03:35] ERIKA STRAUB: I want to hear about that. I know.
[00:03:36] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Okay.
[00:03:38] ERIKA STRAUB: Okay. I hate the intros.
[00:03:41] ERIKA STRAUB: This is the awkward part for me. I already got through it.
[00:03:44] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Okay. Oh my God. You're going to even do better this time.
[00:03:50] ERIKA STRAUB: Now I'm sweating and probably shiny. It's fine.
[00:03:52] KELLY CONKRIGHT: No, you look so pretty. I love your hair.
[00:03:54] ERIKA STRAUB: Thank you. I was having a really bad hair day. So that means a lot.
[00:03:58] KELLY CONKRIGHT: That is impossible for you.
[00:04:01] ERIKA STRAUB: You'd be surprised.
[00:04:02] ERIKA STRAUB: You'd really be so okay. So today I'm joined by Kelly Conkright, who I'm so thrilled to call a friend at this point, and I'm so excited to introduce you. Kelly is the founder of the brand terminal, an independent global branding agency that launches brands for fortune 500 companies, startups, and personal brands.
[00:04:27] ERIKA STRAUB: Kelly's forthcoming book, everybody has a fucking brand, lays out the importance of brand as your biggest asset in today's modern landscape. She is a passionate speaker for brands like Adobe and summit with a mission to help others successfully follow their passion to live a purpose driven life. Her personal brand sits at the intersection of psychology, self growth, and creativity.
[00:04:51] ERIKA STRAUB: I love that that intersection I think is what deeply resonates between us.
[00:04:56] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Yeah. 100%. Right. Like I, for a long time, I mean, for 25 years, I've been building brands all over the world. Right. So doing advertising for big companies, having my own company. Um, but as I moved into personal branding, which is more in alignment for me, um, I love hanging out with people like you who are psychologists and therapists and who like to go deep.
[00:05:18] KELLY CONKRIGHT: And it's that missing piece for me. And, you know, part of what I talk about with personal branding is, you know, go more towards what you want, hang out with more people that have what you have. And so it's very interesting, my journey, and it's very synchronistic talking to you because I've done a lot of partying and a lot of, you know, late nights in advertising.
[00:05:37] KELLY CONKRIGHT: But now in personal branding, which I think is a form of self development and self care, I'm talking with people like you is everything for me. You know, that's what is really lighting me up and kind of closing the gap. And also I get a lot of laughter when people announce my book, everybody has an effing brand.
[00:05:58] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Um, and I just, I just laughed because, you know, knowing your own brand, the first piece of it. Is to know what you're not kind of like Coco Chanel. She didn't start by knowing what she was. She started by saying, well, I know I'm not going to be, you know, designing flowery, uncomfortable, feminine dresses that everybody currently wears.
[00:06:19] KELLY CONKRIGHT: So she started there and then she said, so what I am going to design is more comfortable, chic, black and white. You know, dresses, pants, seats, et cetera. And so, I, in my personal brand, um, I cuss. I love it. I love it. And in my personal brand, I, even though I've worked in corporate, I'm not very corporate. And I sort of now punctuate that, that idea for myself.
[00:06:41] KELLY CONKRIGHT: I don't wear heels and dresses. You know, I, and I cuss, and I have a book that has the title with f ing on the cover.
[00:06:51] ERIKA STRAUB: There's something like so empowering though, when those, you just sink into those words sometimes. And, I also read this quote, I don't know if it's true, but it said, more intelligent people cuss.
[00:07:04] ERIKA STRAUB: Yes! And so, and with that, I, I, you know, I have to have some discernment with it, but. I definitely ran with it, too.
[00:07:12] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Yeah, I mean, when I read that same article, I was like, Fuck yeah! Yeah, I tried to quit cussing for years and then I just decided to lean into it. Um, but I, I was having this discussion the other night about words and that word.
[00:07:27] KELLY CONKRIGHT: And just like everything in life is intentionality, same thing with, if you use a cuss word and if you, you know, say the word fuck, if it's like, Oh my God, you're so fucking amazing. The intention is so beautiful and positive and it doesn't have any, it doesn't have any negativity. If you say fuck you to somebody, that's totally different.
[00:07:45] KELLY CONKRIGHT: So, you know, words are also how you're delivering and what is the intention behind it? And, um, you know, I, I think that
[00:07:54] ERIKA STRAUB: through people's words, right? Like it's a channel to communicate and express yourself. I, I feel like I find myself in words all the time. And. I connect with someone based on the words that they use and, and if they swear, don't swear, you know, you learn about someone just in their use usage of words like that.
[00:08:14] ERIKA STRAUB: So I super appreciate the title of your book and I'm excited to read it when it comes out. Um,
[00:08:20] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Well, also I noticed, so you did a, you did a birth book, giving people a journal. So you're obviously, you obviously love words and I'm a, I'm a huge journaler. It's been one of the tools that I have in my toolbox to basically.
[00:08:34] KELLY CONKRIGHT: I have such, so many crazy thoughts in my head and a lot of them are good and some of them aren't. But, you know, I, journaling is a big tool for me to get all my thoughts out and to clear my brain. And so I love that you're also a journaler and a writer. All the
[00:08:48] ERIKA STRAUB: time, every morning, like I have to figure it out to just figure out who I am that day.
[00:08:54] ERIKA STRAUB: Like if I don't write in the morning, I don't even know who I am that day.
[00:08:58] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Did you do, did you do the artist way? Okay. I did. I did. I did.
[00:09:03] ERIKA STRAUB: I've actually done that
[00:09:04] KELLY CONKRIGHT: again. Yes, we could do it together. So I, so in the artist way, obviously she talks about morning pages, which is daily writing in your journal. Um, I was, I was doing it before, but then she gave me even more, I guess, inspiration and permission to keep doing that as a form of, you know, self care.
[00:09:25] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Like it doesn't have to be for me. Meditation is great. It's very difficult for me. So writing and walking are two other things that I do that are easier for me than meditating.
[00:09:37] ERIKA STRAUB: Yeah, I hear that. I think having like knowing what our modalities are, that like our soul and self comes through. I do have a meditation practice, but it's so fluid.
[00:09:48] ERIKA STRAUB: Like it's not, it's not my rooted thing I drop into every day. It's writing, it's exercise and movement. But for me, it's also riding horses. Like horses are my like soul food and my mirror to like who I am. They tell me exactly what is happening in my body that day based on how they like reciprocate energy with me.
[00:10:10] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Wild. I can't believe you brought that up because I don't ride horses. I wish I did because I really like this, the fashion of equestrian and I really want to wear that, but it's inauthentic for me. Can I tell you a really quick story about my equestrian? Um, it's equine therapy. Have you done equine therapy?
[00:10:30] KELLY CONKRIGHT: I have, yeah. Yeah. So I struggled with anxiety. I think a lot of people do. And about, I want to say eight years ago, um, I got referred to do equine therapy, but as one of the many things I'm scared of, I'm actually scared of horses. I'm just scared of, I'm scared of a lot of different animals. And so the very first exercises, the small group of four people, they go put you with the horses and you, you brush, you brush the horses.
[00:10:56] KELLY CONKRIGHT: And I told the therapist, Hey, but I'm actually also scared of horses. So she's it's okay. You can stand way, way, way back by the fence and watch us do it. And I said, okay, great. So I'm in there, and I'm standing way back, and the biggest, oldest horse comes out of where the stables are, starts walking the long lawn.
[00:11:18] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Straight towards me. And of course I'm freaking out, but I know, but I also know I'm safe. It comes all the way to me and takes its two front legs and gets down on the ground and puts its head right in front of me. I actually like almost could start crying, telling the story. And it made me so emotional and I put my hand on its, you know, sort of nose and head and pet it.
[00:11:44] KELLY CONKRIGHT: For probably the first time I've ever pet a horse. And then we went back to the little group to synthesize, you know, how, how was that experience brushing the horses? And the therapist freaked out. She goes, what was that? Oh my God, what, what just happened? And I was like, I don't know. You tell me. And it was the oldest, um, biggest horse.
[00:12:02] KELLY CONKRIGHT: And I said, well, and she said it had never done that. And I said, well, to me, the horse was meeting me where I was. Versus me having to go to it and thereby sending me the message that you don't have to be scared and the whole thing with equine therapy, as you know, is that the horses are the most intuitive of all animals and they can feel your energy.
[00:12:26] KELLY CONKRIGHT: And so the horse must have felt my anxious, fearful energy and came over to say, it's okay. It was the craziest. It was the absolute craziest thing.
[00:12:34] ERIKA STRAUB: I like broke something open inside of me because I mean, horses honestly are, are how I learned what intimacy was like, really, like I learned more about relationships.
[00:12:48] ERIKA STRAUB: through horses than I did humans. And fortunately now I'm really learning through humans too. But it was like the relationship and the energy and the The having to receive each other and work together and having to ask a horse to do something for you. My biggest fear in relationships was asking for something from someone or asking someone to do something for me.
[00:13:13] ERIKA STRAUB: So having to learn how to do that with my horse was like this wild experience for me. And when you ride, like you need to keep a direct line of contact with them, with the reins that you're holding. Every time I rode. It was like so much slack in the rain. Like I couldn't hold a direct connection with the horse and it was so.
[00:13:35] ERIKA STRAUB: Like it blew my mind that I was struggling in intimacy there too, that I couldn't actually like hold that connection for an extended period of time. And it translated in my life as well. So that it's, I could go on and on about horses just because
[00:13:51] KELLY CONKRIGHT: you know what, I think that's really interesting because when you're riding a horse and I don't ride horses as that's as it's pretty obvious right now, it is you and the horse working together, right?
[00:14:02] KELLY CONKRIGHT: You, you're in a symbiotic relationship. A lot of my intimate experiences, and like I, you know, like I said, I know you played sports growing up and I did too. It's when You're working together towards something and like, you have to rely on each other. So in sports, I, you know, some of my best friends of my entire life are still from high school playing basketball and volleyball because we were in battle together.
[00:14:27] KELLY CONKRIGHT: We had a lot of horrible losses, um, and cried a lot and it was a lot of pain and we had all these amazing wins and we had to support each other and communicate with each other. And um, yeah. You know, I think like when you're when you're showing your full self and your vulnerability and having to hold space for somebody and pick them up and celebrate their wins and, you know, be there for them when they're down.
[00:14:53] KELLY CONKRIGHT: I know that I'm going in a different direction now than just the horse. Um, I think that that is the thing that really creates that deep, deep, deep bond.
[00:15:03] ERIKA STRAUB: Yeah. Yeah. When you have to depend on someone that is like most vulnerable place you can be. And I don't know this piece of your story yet, but I know for mine, depending on someone when I was most vulnerable when I was a kid was not safe.
[00:15:21] ERIKA STRAUB: This has been like a lifelong learning of like, how can I rely on someone? How can I outsource anything to someone? It's all been kind of, I'm an island. I can do it all by myself. And even in the sports example, I love that you had this like synergy on your teams. I feel like at that chapter in my life, and this is a little shameful to admit, but I was so much in my ego because I wasn't in my body.
[00:15:49] ERIKA STRAUB: And it was very much like, I'm carrying the team. I'm doing this by myself. And if we lost, it was not my fault. And I look at that now and I'm like, Oh God, that's horrible. But that's what it was. And it taught me so much about how I didn't know how to like coexist with people. I didn't know how to give and receive.
[00:16:10] ERIKA STRAUB: I didn't know how to like lift people up. I didn't know a
[00:16:13] KELLY CONKRIGHT: lot on your shoulders so much. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:16:17] ERIKA STRAUB: Yeah. So that was an interesting, an interesting place, but it also like, this could go a totally other direction, but yeah. It also kind of grooms us to be in a different mentality and more in our masculine, and that really functioned for so long, but it was a guard, like it was guarding myself.
[00:16:39] ERIKA STRAUB: I don't know if that was
[00:16:40] KELLY CONKRIGHT: the
[00:16:40] ERIKA STRAUB: experience
[00:16:41] KELLY CONKRIGHT: too. I had, um, I don't know if this is, As common as maybe I'm going to assume right now, but like, I've had a lot of issues with, um, being in my masculine and I'm not a masculine person, obviously by nature. And you are not at all either. Um, I think that growing up, I got a lot of reward from producing, getting good grades, being good at sports.
[00:17:07] KELLY CONKRIGHT: And so I kind of. I think in looking back, always thought that that is how I received attention or love. Um, and so in my adult life work, whether it was in advertising or being an entrepreneur, um, that's been a huge thing that has defined me and my, and my worth. You know, but for so long, I was in grind head down grind overworking, you know, and of course, I've had a lot of wonderful relationships.
[00:17:36] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Um, but I wasn't happy. And so, ultimately, if I, I, I believe, like, if you can't, if you're not happy, the level of connection. In your relationships, um, with your partner can only go so far, right?
[00:17:51] ERIKA STRAUB: You hit up against a wall so quickly in this. Yeah.
[00:17:55] KELLY CONKRIGHT: And I, I actually had some and I don't know if this is the right order in our conversation, but, um, I've had a lot of breakthroughs this year in particular.
[00:18:05] KELLY CONKRIGHT: And, um, the first one started when I gave a personal branding workshop in Bali for a company called Mui House, which is a treat retreat company. And, um, so they gave me the week long retreat for free and it was an incredible experience. And my biggest takeaway from that first retreat. And then I have, then I did a psychedelic retreat after that.
[00:18:26] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Um, also clients of mine, Beckley retreats, but my biggest takeaway from Mui House in Bali was allow, get out of control. And allow some room for things to unfold and, and therefore allow room for magic.
[00:18:43] ERIKA STRAUB: Because
[00:18:43] KELLY CONKRIGHT: if you're always in, in grind and you're always working so hard and you can see what I'm doing right now, it's like blinders on almost like the whole going back to the horse.
[00:18:53] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Yeah. And if you lift your head up a little bit and you're not always in control, then your aperture opens. And then the possibilities are more. And what if I don't always know all the answers going back to you being kind of on an Island and all, all, all the weights on your shoulders, but the magic happens when other people show you the way and other people like add value.
[00:19:14] KELLY CONKRIGHT: And I mean, we know from science of happiness that the number one biggest thing for happiness is sense of connection to community,
[00:19:21] ERIKA STRAUB: right?
[00:19:21] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Yeah. So if you're head down grinding all the time, even if you're on zoom calls, that's not really a true sense of connection and community. So if you stop grinding, which also So it puts you a little bit more in your feminine.
[00:19:32] KELLY CONKRIGHT: It allows for more possibilities, more connection, more magic. And I literally, this is just this year.
[00:19:38] ERIKA STRAUB: I feel you, but, but what a beautiful breakthrough. I imagine your world has shifted. So much. And I, I want you to speak to, cause I know how profound this is, but your departure from the grind and corporate, and then to doing personal branding and more entrepreneurship and more like really heart, soulful lead.
[00:20:02] ERIKA STRAUB: Work. I feel like it aligns with what you just shared
[00:20:05] KELLY CONKRIGHT: a hundred percent. I mean, so as you know, and as I said, I worked for the big corporate global ad agencies. Then I decided that my about, okay, about 10 years ago, I codified a process and wrote a process for building your own personal brand. Um,
[00:20:22] ERIKA STRAUB: maybe we could tell the audience first, what is personal branding?
[00:20:26] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Okay. Um, yeah, that's a really good point. Let's start with what is personal branding because I think that personal branding can get very, um, misconstrued based on the word branding. Um, because first of all, I do, um, own a branding company. And what I say, first of all, for baseline is that, um, Branding is not your logo.
[00:20:47] KELLY CONKRIGHT: A logo was one piece of branding, but brand, you know, building a brand is everything that surrounds your brand. And brand is a lifestyle. Same thing with personal branding, personal branding is not your Instagram account. It can involve Instagram as a channel of marketing, but that's, One piece of the overall picture, you know, because your personal brand is everything about you, who are you, what do you want, what do you value, how do you position yourself, then moving into kind of the more fun things like what do you wear, how do you show up, what's your tone of voice.
[00:21:22] KELLY CONKRIGHT: What's your key message? And I can kind of talk about mine to give perspective on this. And then all the way into then how do you activate it in market? So how do you show up? Where do you show up? What does your email look like? How do you text people? How do you show up to zoom meetings? How did you show up to parties?
[00:21:39] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Um, who do you hang out with? You know, um, and so it's really your whole self personal branding is your whole self. Um, and like I said earlier about the Coco Chanel, um, example, personal brand is just as much about, uh, what you are is what you're not. So getting really clear about, oh, well, I'm not these things.
[00:21:59] KELLY CONKRIGHT: So then therefore, you know, I can go in this direction. Um, one of the things,
[00:22:04] ERIKA STRAUB: what is your personal brand?
[00:22:06] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Yeah. I mean, I wanted to say one more thing too, you know, A lot of, there's a lot of, I think personal branding has become trendy and, you know, I did, I did my process 10 years ago, but, um, a lot of articles that I read about personal branding, talk about the basics of be yourself, be authentic.
[00:22:24] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Um, and that is true. And I, and I love that. I, and I want to talk about that, but I say that personal branding is one part who you are and one part creating it. Because I think that we're empowered to keep creating ourselves and to keep evolving and growing over time. You know, I've had some people ask me questions before saying, well, I don't know if I'm really interested in personal branding because I don't want to put myself in a box.
[00:22:49] KELLY CONKRIGHT: And I guess I can understand a little bit about what, you know, what, what they're saying, but my version of personal branding and what it really is, is get your foundation really. Strong. And then you can flex and move in all these different areas. Once you have that foundation. Right. And you know, the part about creating it is that you're the main character of your own story.
[00:23:08] KELLY CONKRIGHT: You, this is your life and this is your one life, unless, you know, we have other lives and we, but we might not remember them. So it's like, you know, I think about Arnold Schwarzenegger and I listened to his podcast recently on the Jay Shetty Jay Shetty show. And, um, I just think he's a fascinating example of personal branding because he went from being a bodybuilder to an actor.
[00:23:28] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Um, to a governor and now a climate change activist. So he was, he's still the same person. And so for, for, for personal brands, it's, you know, what are the common threads that run through everything you do, but you're going to have different chapters and so, you know, um, I was thinking about my workshop and you being there and, you know, you being an entrepreneur and a psychologist and all on an author and all these things.
[00:23:51] KELLY CONKRIGHT: There were, there were actually two other psychologists at my workshop, but how different were your brands?
[00:23:58] ERIKA STRAUB: Completely. I mean, it was almost like we were in different fields.
[00:24:03] KELLY CONKRIGHT: 100%. Because you're different people, you have different, you know, superpowers, you have different desires and passions and backgrounds, and you've taken your careers in totally different areas.
[00:24:17] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Yeah, you know, and so like I like for me, for an example, um, there's probably, there's a lot of brand builders out there. There's a lot of branding agencies out there. Um, and now there are, you know, there's, there's a lot of more personal branding people popping up. Um, when I first started, you know, kind of what is my.
[00:24:34] KELLY CONKRIGHT: One liner of what I do. I didn't want to say I'm in advertising or branding. I didn't ever want to say I'm, I'm in account service or strategy or all these things. I am a global passionate brand builder. So it's way up here. And global is one of my points of difference because I've lived all around the world and passionate is something that really defines me.
[00:24:54] KELLY CONKRIGHT: And that's what people talk about when they talk about me, it can be annoying maybe, but I have all this passion in me. So that, so that's, you know, number one. And then number two is I help people find that intersection. And it's, it's really a version of it could guy, um, and finding your purpose, but you know, it's like, what are you good at?
[00:25:11] KELLY CONKRIGHT: What are you passionate about and what do you have experience in it in the center is your intersection point, you know, and so that's when, you know, in, in my bio and you introduced me is, you know, I work at that intersection of brand building, storytelling and psychology. Um, but then if you move into the other fun pieces of personal branding, it's like, okay, what's your tone of voice?
[00:25:31] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Um, are you serious? Are you funny? Are you this? Are you that I'm warm, direct and enthusiastic. And I, I encourage people to have those three words. That define your voice. And then once you know your voice, how you show up on these, you know, podcasts or interviews or how you write your social posts or how you write your LinkedIn bio should bring your voice to life, you know, and then you can have your key message for me.
[00:25:56] KELLY CONKRIGHT: I talk about how branding is everything. And, and actually everything is a brand and we're all already brands. Um, and even your style, right? Like I, I'm not very corporate and I don't wear a lot of suits and heels. I do wear, you know, I, I lived in Paris. Um, I currently live in LA with you. And so my style is a little bit Parisian California chic, I call it.
[00:26:21] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Um, and I love wearing tennis shoes and. You know, easy clothes. And so it's, that's kind of personal branding and, you know, that's kind of where I'm at with my personal brand. I think that for me, I was out of alignment for quite a long time when I was, I liked brand building and I am decent at it, um, but I had these two lives, I had this one life that was what I did for work, and then I had this other life down here, which is.
[00:26:53] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Self development and psychology, which is my true passion. And it was private and no one, I never really put that out into the world. And then when I started doing personal branding, it was literally like the matrix and the lineup here in the line down here, they came into one line. Collapse which like, yeah, they collapsed.
[00:27:10] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Thank you. They collapsed into one line. And I felt this. Overwhelming feeling that I'd never felt before of alignment and things got easier. It was honestly, and that's been in the last like year and a half, two years. So it's. It's been a really wild journey to have myself come into alignment and just feel that feeling.
[00:27:35] ERIKA STRAUB: Yeah. Yeah. It's like a, an indescribable feeling. You know it when you feel it. That's it. Until you felt it. It's like, you just, you don't know, you don't know what you're missing. You don't know what you're looking for. Yeah. What I, what I love so much about your work is. I mean, it's, it's about finding and creating yourself.
[00:27:56] ERIKA STRAUB: It's really like, who am I? And what are all the parts of me? How can I, how can all the parts of me like cohesively make sense? And how can I walk in these every day? How can I be dynamic? If I'm, you know, this is a part of my life and this is a part of me and this is too. Like, how can we create freedom for that?
[00:28:17] KELLY CONKRIGHT: And freedom, freedom is a really big word that I feel and that my clients feel when we kind of go through this process, we have a sense of inspiration, lightness, and freedom. I keep writing that in my journal freedom. Yeah. So, and tell me about your experience from the workshop. Yeah.
[00:28:34] ERIKA STRAUB: Yeah. It was so liberating and like the perfect time in my life because when I walked in your doors.
[00:28:43] ERIKA STRAUB: I was working under a brand I had created almost five years ago now, anxious female. And it was such a beautiful entry point into the entrepreneur self development space because I started that space because I, I was dealing with a lot of anxiety. And I finally realized the only way I'm going to start to work through this anxiety is to talk about it because to me, anxiety is about hiding.
[00:29:09] ERIKA STRAUB: And so that's where I started. I didn't really have a plan. I just started writing and it grew into a business and it attracted people who were so in alignment with me and we had similar journeys. I might've been a little further ahead or had a little more capacity so I could see them and meet them in a different way.
[00:29:29] ERIKA STRAUB: And it was beautiful. Like it was absolutely phenomenal. What got created from that? Like I could have never imagined it would grow to that. But then the last. At least a year, maybe longer. It has felt so out of alignment and having to show up under that label was not, it's not who I am. It was a part of me and it was also a part of me that was deeply healing.
[00:29:56] ERIKA STRAUB: So it felt so like, Like crunchy when that's what I was leading with. Cause I'm like, you're not actually seeing me at all. So I was hiding behind this brand and unable to just release it into the ethers. And so I came to your workshop and the magic that happened there, literally the next week I released the brand and I stepped into my name as my own brand, my whole, like every channel that my business operates out of instantly changed in a moment.
[00:30:25] ERIKA STRAUB: And I could speak to all of these different things besides anxiety. I was so like, I don't want to talk about anxiety anymore or directly. Like it's still, I am
[00:30:36] KELLY CONKRIGHT: being like, let's talk about anxiety.
[00:30:39] ERIKA STRAUB: It was, you know, it's still an experience. It's still something I deeply understand. And it's, um, to me, it's the most beautiful teacher.
[00:30:47] ERIKA STRAUB: And I, I learned more about myself through anxiety and having a face like panic attacks, having to face not being in my body. The most beautiful teacher, but there's so much beyond it. You know, it, it like it shoots us into this portal. Um, so yeah, your workshop allowed me to like break free from this brand that I needed so deeply too.
[00:31:08] ERIKA STRAUB: Cause I was just stuck. I was so stuck. Okay.
[00:31:11] KELLY CONKRIGHT: I love this so much and I feel really happy right now because I love what I do because I actually feel like I'm helping people. And I know that's why you like what you do. Um, and I think that's exactly right. Like we shed the, we have different versions of ourselves, right?
[00:31:27] KELLY CONKRIGHT: So it's like, who is Erica Straub at the top? And like the brand that you had, that's one thing that you did. And again, like personal branding is not what you do. It's who you are. And it's the common threads that run through your, so how you approached your brand, you're still you, and you're still going to approach everything you do in the, in with those common threads, but it doesn't have to be under that label
[00:31:52] ERIKA STRAUB: and the top umbrella anymore, still in there.
[00:31:56] ERIKA STRAUB: Right. Cause that's a journey. It's a pillar
[00:31:58] KELLY CONKRIGHT: of it.
[00:31:59] ERIKA STRAUB: Yeah. But it's
[00:32:00] KELLY CONKRIGHT: in your brand architecture. It's one pillar of what you do.
[00:32:04] ERIKA STRAUB: Yeah, just like in my psyche and in my body. It's one part. It's not all of me, but it's so, it's like so reflective to look at because when I started, it's like, that was all of me, or at least that's what I believed
[00:32:17] KELLY CONKRIGHT: to, you know, I think, I think there's two things happening here.
[00:32:20] KELLY CONKRIGHT: You know, um, one is when you're an entrepreneur, um, I mean, so first of all, like personal branding, I work with people inside of companies, but also freelance and entrepreneur, but when you're dealing with an entrepreneur, which I am also one. It gets really hairy because you, so much of your identity is tied to your brand and your business.
[00:32:43] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Yes. But that can be a really negative thing because then it goes back to being in our, in our production, head down, grinding masculine, because now we're defining all of our success around our business, but that is not all of life. Business and career and purpose. That's a really important, that's an important part of life, but that's not our whole self.
[00:33:04] KELLY CONKRIGHT: So that's one thing so that, you know, I think that people can take a step back and go, okay. A personal brand is your whole life and your whole self, right? And so when I have people do vision boards, it's not that you have a vision board for your, you know, career and a vision board for your personal life.
[00:33:19] KELLY CONKRIGHT: It's one vision board because you're one person, you know? And so you put your, you should put your goals visually and written and audio, like all in one board because that you live one life.
[00:33:31] ERIKA STRAUB: Yeah.
[00:33:31] KELLY CONKRIGHT: You know, but the, but Erica, the, the other thing that, um, I know we talked about, which is so interesting is that I feel like I was also, um, hiding behind brand terminal, which is my agency.
[00:33:46] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Yeah. And I didn't realize that for a long time, but it is, it is, it is true. And I still have brand terminal. I still love brand terminal, but I was definitely inadvertently playing small because a lot of my fears, a
[00:34:01] ERIKA STRAUB: 100%,
[00:34:02] KELLY CONKRIGHT: you know, and I had this, I had this aha the other day, and I don't know if you feel the same way, right.
[00:34:09] KELLY CONKRIGHT: But I wrote this down in my journal, plain small versus plain big is the same amount of work. So you might as well play big. You might as well go for it because I've been working my bloody ass off for so many years. I mean, I can't even tell you, and there is no way that I could work harder than I am now.
[00:34:28] KELLY CONKRIGHT: So I might as well just really go for it and play big versus play small because it's going to be the same amount of work. A
[00:34:34] ERIKA STRAUB: hundred percent. I so deeply feel that. And I, I got so excited because. You have to tell the Will Smith story, your Will Smith moment, like, I think that's when you told that story. I was like, she's my person.
[00:34:48] ERIKA STRAUB: She is my people.
[00:34:51] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Okay, I have to give you a compliment because you have been shaping my journey. You had told me after the workshop that you liked me telling my story of my Will Smith moment. And I am in Kansas city right now, which is my hometown. And two days ago, I gave a keynote speech, um, hosted by Lockton, which is the large, the largest global independent insurance brokerage.
[00:35:15] KELLY CONKRIGHT: So it was a big, you know, it was a, it was a big key. With women, it was a women, I, it was a women's leadership conference. And so it was women, CEOs, CFOs, all these incredible women from all these different companies. And I consciously thought, because I had you in my head, I consciously thought I'm going to tell this story, the Will Smith story in my keynote, and I've never done that before.
[00:35:37] KELLY CONKRIGHT: So I did it and I can't wait to tell you, I've been waiting to tell you about this. It was so incredible and successful and it's really driven by you. And so, um, in, okay, this is so crazy. So in the personal branding process, I have an exercise called the mindset moat. And so in the mindset moat, you identify your biggest fears and then you come up with a positive reframe.
[00:36:01] KELLY CONKRIGHT: And essentially, you know, you can do all this work, but if you're not confident enough to step out, you know, You're not going to achieve the success and the happiness you want in life. And so a lot of, usually in my keynote speech, I talk about people's common fears, because a lot of people have very common fears.
[00:36:16] KELLY CONKRIGHT: What if people judge me? What if I'm too old? What if I'm not good enough? What if, you know, what, if, what, if, what, if, but they're, they're, they're very common, but I got more specific in my speech this time. And I told them the story of actually my biggest fear in life. Is public speaking. And I have become a public speaker.
[00:36:36] KELLY CONKRIGHT: It's like, how in the world did this, did this happen? And so, um, a year, so 10 years ago, I wrote my process for personal branding, but I was, I never put it out into the world a year and a half ago, a PR friend of mine, um, this really successful PR agent from New York. She called me up. I'm sitting in my car and she said, Kelly, Kelly.
[00:36:57] KELLY CONKRIGHT: This global tech company, um, needs a keynote speaker because their keynote speaker, um, got COVID and canceled. And I pitched you as the keynote speaker on personal branding. They love it. They want you. Are you in? And I said, um, Nancy, I. I'm not a keynote speaker and I have not launched personal branding.
[00:37:19] KELLY CONKRIGHT: She's like, you're going to be great. Yes or no. I'll pay you five grand. I was like, Hey, I was like, Hey, I'll call you back. And I sat in my car windows up sweating, just sitting there. And then I thought back to this moment with, um, Will, Will Smith and not, I wasn't actually with him. Um, but it was, you know, I, I saw it online and it was when he was young and he was at this big party and they wanted him to audition at the party without any preparation for the Fresh Prince of Bel Air and everybody was there, all the producers that would need to approve it.
[00:37:53] KELLY CONKRIGHT: And he said, no, there's no way I can do it. And, um, but I could be ready in three weeks. And the guy was like, You either do it now or you'll never get this chance again. And so his, and of course we know the story, he gets fresh Prince of Bel Air and the rest of his history. And his whole point is say yes, before you're ready.
[00:38:10] KELLY CONKRIGHT: And I thought to myself, fuck, this is my Will Smith moment. I have to say yes, even though I'm not ready. And I literally thought like I might die because I had very public panic attacks when I lived in Paris and New York, very traumatic That I kept denying and I was kind of slowly moving through, but they're still very scary for me, you know, and, but I have this humongous passion around helping people with their personal brands and self development.
[00:38:40] KELLY CONKRIGHT: So, of course, you know, I said, yes, I spent the next, you know, 3 days developing my speech went to this global tech conference and it gave delivered my speech. It was the single most impactful hour of my entire 25 year career, and I could start crying. And when I was, when I was headed to the speech, I thought I might have a heart attack.
[00:39:02] KELLY CONKRIGHT: I might have a stroke. I actually might. I, I literally thought I could die. And I just kept having Brene Brown in my head. And she said, if you're going to fail, fail, daring greatly. And so I just thought, you know, if I fail, I'll just never work or speak again. I don't want to live the whole rest of my life in hiding.
[00:39:26] KELLY CONKRIGHT: And I wept. Afterwards, I wept out of so much joy that I got to bring my passion to the world and people stay for hours asking me questions. And so yesterday or two days ago in my locked in speech, this is so cool. I told the story and I've never told it on stage like that. And I accidentally got really choked up like way more than I just did.
[00:39:51] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Like I actually started crying on stage and. Every person in the room started clapping and sending all this energy to the stage and it was palpable and you know how energy is real and I felt felt this wave of energy hit me with positive support and energy and I, it was amazing. And then after, so that was halfway through my speech, then after the speech, I had all these women come up to me.
[00:40:16] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Telling me their biggest fears in life that they've never told anyone and how I gave them permission to just speak it out loud and not be in hiding anymore. And we were like hugging and laughing about these, about these horrible traumas and fears. You know, I mean, these, these are women in the top, top, top companies and in the top, top, top leadership positions talking to me about their fears and talking to me about their fear also around.
[00:40:47] KELLY CONKRIGHT: If I go big, if I put myself out there more, well, they perceive me as not being humble. I mean, these are women, like one of the, one of the women I talked to, she's doing documentaries to highlight people in compromised, you know, physical and mental conditions. And I'm like, what are you talking about? If you shine brighter, then everyone that you're helping is going to be able to shine brighter.
[00:41:11] KELLY CONKRIGHT: So shine, shine away. Because if you light the way. You're lighting it for everybody else to come along. You know what I mean? And so I just think it's so hilarious that intimacy is formed through us holding space for each other to have weakness and have trauma. And it's okay because we also have all these other amazing strengths and all these other amazing superpowers.
[00:41:37] KELLY CONKRIGHT: So it's like, if I know your superpower, I'll go to you for that help. But if I also know. You know, your fear. I'll help you with your fear. It's like that symbiotic. Let's connect. Let's help each other. We're not alone. We're not in this alone. We're in this as a community. We're in this together. And I mean, it was honestly, it was a moment for me in my, in my journey.
[00:42:01] KELLY CONKRIGHT: It was a big moment for me.
[00:42:02] ERIKA STRAUB: Yeah. That first speech that you gave, imagine if you didn't, like what you've stepped into opened, like it just, it timelines collapsed, you know, you got, you stepped fully into alignment, but it required being so intimate with your fear. Like that's the
[00:42:21] KELLY CONKRIGHT: trajectory of my entire life.
[00:42:22] KELLY CONKRIGHT: And I keep getting these, you know, serve serve these ads or quotes on Instagram that says, you know, everything you ever want is on the other side. Of whatever you're avoiding or whatever fear you have. And now I actually get that because my life is unfolding in much bigger and more rewarding, um, and purpose driven ways more so than I ever could have imagined because I walked through my fear and got to the other side.
[00:42:49] ERIKA STRAUB: Yeah. There's so much that comes when we do that. We walk through it and when we show ourselves like I can face this, I can meet this, I can actually come out the other side better and more full. Like I think really believe we can't get through it or we don't even know what's on the other side, but you have one experience of that and you're immediate immediately launched into something completely different.
[00:43:15] ERIKA STRAUB: You're a completely different person in an instant. So
[00:43:18] KELLY CONKRIGHT: the other thing, so speaking of Instagram, um, and the kind of accounts I follow, I got, um, served a video the other day, and I have never heard of this person before. I think his name is Gary Brecken. He's a biologist and biohacker. And, um, he has this video about this project they did with 25, 000 people and there were studying energy and frequency.
[00:43:40] KELLY CONKRIGHT: And apparently. And I'll have to look more into this study. Right. But apparently the frequency of authenticity is 4, 000 times more powerful than the frequency of love. Wow. And I was like, holy shit. Right. And I actually said that in my speech as well. And I didn't make the connection between that and then me telling my story.
[00:44:08] KELLY CONKRIGHT: But people afterwards did make the connection and they said that the frequency in the room was raised after I told that story and they, you know, they likened it to, um, that statistic. And I was like, Oh my God, you're right.
[00:44:23] ERIKA STRAUB: What I love about this, this recent speech that you gave is like feeling that everyone actually helped you.
[00:44:30] ERIKA STRAUB: I think we We were afraid to lean in and share like that because we think something's gonna like, it's threatening, right? Something's gonna happen to us if I lean in to that experience of like, no, I'm actually being held through this is so reparative. Like that's such an invitation to keep stepping in that people can
[00:44:51] KELLY CONKRIGHT: the word you just used.
[00:44:53] KELLY CONKRIGHT: It's an invitation to keep stepping in. I'm going to write that in my journal because that is exactly how it feels. But I didn't have the language around that. Um, yeah, I don't know. It's it's. It's incredible.
[00:45:08] ERIKA STRAUB: I have, I have one question for you that I, I would love us to open a little bit more. And I know I even said, I don't talk about anxiety that much anymore.
[00:45:18] ERIKA STRAUB: But I think it's such a, it's so important to talk about here because you and I resonate so much on that experience like having had panic attacks if you've never had one. I just don't think you can resonate or understand in the way like it's life shattering when that happens and it's You know, I was living so out of my body and out of alignment when I had, and it really was an invitation to come and descend into my body.
[00:45:46] ERIKA STRAUB: Even though at the time it was like, I need to get out of my body as quickly as I can because it's not safe. It ultimately dropped me in more. And once I was dropped in, I had access. To so many different things. I had more capacity to like meet fear. So I'm just curious. How did you really start to like sink in and drop in even though there were these panic attacks and anxieties?
[00:46:12] KELLY CONKRIGHT: So I'm in Kansas City in my hometown right now, and for the next couple days, I'm staying with my best friend who I lived with about 10 years ago, and I told her about my experience of the speech, and then she said, Oh, I remember you had a panic attack at my house before a meeting, and I don't remember that because I had quite a few during this period, and, um, I mean, it was so traumatic for me, um, and she said to me, I can't believe where you're at today.
[00:46:37] KELLY CONKRIGHT: How did you do it? And I was like, how did I do it? How did I do it? You know, because it's such a journey. And I think the first thing as a general idea, and I would love to know your thoughts on this, um, is I didn't give up. I kept going. So I didn't go into hiding, even though I used to want to. Move to a deserted Island and be a shop girl.
[00:47:00] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Cause I thought that would be far enough away from anything that could trigger me or hurt me that I, but I still wanted it to be chic. Like in my mind, it was like a deserted part of St. Bart's or something, you know, and I was wearing like a really pretty white dress and stuff, but, um, yeah, so. I didn't give up.
[00:47:21] KELLY CONKRIGHT: I didn't give up and I kept going was like one idea. Um, then the second idea for me, cause I really just thought about this in the last couple of days was around, um, living my purpose. So I started to get more confidence when I was living into my purpose. And that's for me, that's personal branding. Um, and that really was a game changer for me.
[00:47:43] KELLY CONKRIGHT: And that took a long time to, to come to, and I didn't come to it by myself. Cause I had to obviously say yes to different opportunities. And that was, that was a really, really big one. And it took, even still now it's, it's a journey to keep leaning even further and further and every day and week and month and year of my life into that.
[00:48:03] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Um, but. Speaking of retreats, um, I am a self growth and self development nerd, so I'll try anything. And one of my clients is Beckley Retreats, which is the leading, um, retreat company in the world. They have retreats in Jamaica and the Netherlands for, um, um, assisted and guided psilocybin, um, therapy. And so you go for a week and then you do these two heroic macro doses on two different days, but you have therapists and breath work and yoga and you know, integration and prep and all this kind of stuff.
[00:48:37] KELLY CONKRIGHT: So it's not like you're going to a rave and doing mushrooms. Um, it's very intention based and a big. Intention for me was to address my anxiety and to see if the mushroom and the intelligence of the mushroom could unlock something in me and release something in me. And I sort of felt like I might have these downloads and these visions and these insights and like all this kind of stuff, but that's all in my head because the way I used to deal with anxiety was.
[00:49:07] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Read about stuff, go to therapy, talk about it, analyze it, analyze it, analyze it, you know, which keeps me in my head and even what I thought the psychedelic retreat would be. What's like downloads of intellect for what I could do about anxiety and it was nothing like that. So my second, so that my first heroic dose, I just, I cried about all my past trauma and released, released, released and got just back to being in my second.
[00:49:43] KELLY CONKRIGHT: The mushroom. I know, I know that sounds weird for someone who hasn't done that the way I'm talking right now, but the intelligence of the mushroom kind of breaks through into these deeper parts of yourself that aren't that accessible. Sometimes it basically got me straight out of my head and right into my body.
[00:49:58] KELLY CONKRIGHT: And it was the most present night of my entire life. And it wasn't like these weird visions. It was, I was in my body. I was feeling feminine. I was feeling. Happy and mischievous and literally almost turned on. Like there was this tribal band playing and every note of the instrument I could feel on my body.
[00:50:21] KELLY CONKRIGHT: And I was just like feeling the grass and feeling myself and just like feeling present. And it was the most enjoyable feeling and experience probably of my entire life. And then afterwards. I had this absolute rush of calmness and confidence because I found my feminine and it wasn't in more thinking.
[00:50:49] KELLY CONKRIGHT: It was in my body. I embodied it. It was, it is actually like talking with you about it is, is interesting because I haven't really expressed it in outwardly as much as I have in my journal. Um, but does that make sense to you as a therapist?
[00:51:06] ERIKA STRAUB: 100%. And, um, I'm, I haven't spoken publicly about this, but it's something I've been leaning into, but the last, not quite six months, but let's say the last.
[00:51:19] ERIKA STRAUB: Three or four months. I've been deeply leaning into micro dosing and micro dosing and certain protocols and working with a particular doctor in Mexico and, you know, have this really juicy container and integration and, you know, I'm just like you in a sense of like the I'm a student first. I, I've probably explored almost every modality you can speak of and found so much from each of them.
[00:51:48] ERIKA STRAUB: And microdosing has completely changed my life really lately, and it's now leading me to wanting to really sit with plant medicine and to do macro doses, not micro doses, obviously in the, the right safe place. Environment like that's, I think the pieces that's most important to this work, but it, it does, it pulls you into your body.
[00:52:15] ERIKA STRAUB: And I haven't said this out loud yet either, but this is deeply where I'm at in my journey. I lived above my head. I wasn't even in my head first, like I was above myself. I was so dissociative from early traumas. And then I dropped into my And that was a crazy place, you know, like my, my greatest defense.
[00:52:38] ERIKA STRAUB: Against thing is intellectualizing. Like I'm such an intellectual and it's beautiful. And I love that part about myself and it's so masculine and it's. Not in my feeling body. I'm not in my body. And so I'd say in the last two to three years, I really dropped into my body. And there was this like, wow, this is a completely different experience of life.
[00:53:05] ERIKA STRAUB: But when I started micro dosing. I was already so deeply connected and even my intellectualizing became more like poetry, and that's a lot about how I express myself. But what I didn't know what happened is it dropped me into my womb.
[00:53:20] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Really? That's what
[00:53:21] ERIKA STRAUB: microdosing has done for me. It's like, I didn't even know there was something deeper than being in my body.
[00:53:28] ERIKA STRAUB: Wow.
[00:53:28] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Okay. I'm not there yet. I like, I'm ready based on this conversation to go do some more mushrooms.
[00:53:38] KELLY CONKRIGHT: I mean, we're definitely going to have to do that together. And that's the other thing, going back to community, that part of the beauty of going on this retreat is that you're doing it with these strangers that you go really deep with really fast. I have a more intimate connection with the people that I spent five days with than some people I've known for 25 years.
[00:53:58] ERIKA STRAUB: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:53:59] KELLY CONKRIGHT: I get it. You prep and integrate together and share space together and it is wild. It is wild, but can I just comment on a couple of things? One thing that I've been learning recently is that we can't beat ourselves up for what we did for a period of time because usually we do stuff that works for us.
[00:54:20] KELLY CONKRIGHT: And so for a while, your intellectual brain, what did, did really work for you. And so that's why you kept doing it. And like, even your brand. And that worked for you for a while. So you know why you get stuck in the pattern? Because like, you know, that worked for a while, but it's okay to move on when it isn't serving you anymore.
[00:54:39] ERIKA STRAUB: Right.
[00:54:40] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Um,
[00:54:40] ERIKA STRAUB: no, that edge, right. Cause we could just stay in it because it's, it's
[00:54:45] KELLY CONKRIGHT: just working. Data that shows that it did work like I used to drink way too much and that, but that did work for me for a long time until it didn't work for me at all. You know what I mean? So then I had to really assess the new data.
[00:55:00] KELLY CONKRIGHT: And then, you know, the other thing I wanted to say is, um, with some, someone like you, who's very philosophical and very intellectual, um, Sometimes, and this is one of my exercises in personal branding, your superpower is also your Achilles heel. If it is, if it's, if it's not just a strength, it's really up here as a gift that you have a superpower that you love.
[00:55:22] KELLY CONKRIGHT: It wouldn't be a superpower if it didn't have. That, you know, negative side or, um, I call it a shadow side, but I don't want to get that confused with psychology because I don't really know the, the, the ins and out of the shadow side of psychology, but just say it's an Achilles heel side. So it's hard because one of your best qualities is that you're an intellect.
[00:55:42] KELLY CONKRIGHT: One of your worst qualities is that
[00:55:44] ERIKA STRAUB: you're an intellect. Exactly, exactly. And. Speaking into that more and I, I want to know yours too, but I feel like one of my deepest gifts is my ability to mirror people. And so they feel so seen. And if I only do that and lean only into that gift, I hide.
[00:56:06] KELLY CONKRIGHT: You lose yourself.
[00:56:07] ERIKA STRAUB: I don't exist. Yeah. And that's, I think, speaking into exactly what you're talking about, like this beautiful gift, like above normal quality. It can take me into such deep isolation.
[00:56:22] KELLY CONKRIGHT: I totally, I totally get that, and I totally see that, and I, I think that, you know, the work that we do has to be around how do you amplify what you're great at, but be really cognizant of when it's getting into that Achilles heel side or negative side, being really aware.
[00:56:40] KELLY CONKRIGHT: You know, so the, so the idea of knowing the Achilles heel is not to say that we're bad. It's to say like protection from ourselves. Like, okay, I see that my superpower is getting into a negative zone. Like I need to lift it, lift it back up, you know,
[00:56:55] ERIKA STRAUB: sacred place, right? Like our, our zones of genius are sacred.
[00:56:59] ERIKA STRAUB: And so we do have to really monitor when it drops into what you call the Achilles place because it's sacred and that it can be really hurtful for us to live in that place.
[00:57:10] KELLY CONKRIGHT: 100%. I mean, you know, it's everyone I know has a superpower Achilles heel. And I was working with a woman yesterday who is a super connector and her Achilles heel is, you know, being spread too thin.
[00:57:23] KELLY CONKRIGHT: You know, my superpower is I easily shape ideas and people. Um, my Achilles heel is I shape ideas and people too much, meaning when it's really good, I'm able to see and connect dots for people and show them where to go for brands or personal brands. Um, and I love it, but for an example, I just went through a breakup with my boyfriend and, um, we had a beautiful relationship, but I look back and my superpower and Achilles heel came out, which is.
[00:57:55] KELLY CONKRIGHT: I really kind of made him over, I shaped him, but I think where that's negative is, what if he felt a complete lack of acceptance of who he really is? Because I like to shape things like, like if someone was like, here's a 5 million house that's already done and decorated, I don't what, what, I don't want that.
[00:58:16] KELLY CONKRIGHT: I need to go in and renovate and decorate because that's who I am. I need to build and shape, you know, and so that's crazy because a lot of people would love that house that's already done so you can like once you once you start thinking and kind of defining what your superpower and Achilles heel might be, you'll start to really notice it in like a lot of areas of your life.
[00:58:39] ERIKA STRAUB: Yeah, and and just having a pulse on that. I think though, we're at that. We really like know ourselves so much deeper when we know that one at one of my favorite things that you've said. Um, I don't I don't remember when you said that is one of the connection moments we've had, but how fun it is to actually know yourself.
[00:58:59] ERIKA STRAUB: Like how much fun that is. I'm curious if you could just speak into that a little bit because that One liner just like penetrated me. I was like, Oh my God, did I say that I wrote it down? Like I quoted,
[00:59:12] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Oh, see, I need, Oh my God. Look at you mirroring. I go, um, wow. I'm so lucky to have this conversation. I think it is so fun to know ourselves.
[00:59:24] KELLY CONKRIGHT: So I'm. a very curious person in my, in my twenties and thirties, that curiosity was very much in global travel. And then that started to not be as fun for me anymore because my curiosity was shifting into more about knowing humans and knowing myself and going really deep internally. Um, and as such, even going deep on science and I'm not good at science.
[00:59:47] KELLY CONKRIGHT: But really connecting that mind, body, spirit. And I dunno, I just feel like anytime you talk to anybody, you know how people want to talk about themselves. It's, it's fun. It's fun to know yourselves. It's fun. It's like a puzzle understanding the pieces of your life and why you are the way you are and what that can lead to for the future and how that reflects, you know, your ancestors or your parents or your upbringing.
[01:00:15] KELLY CONKRIGHT: I think it's this really, really fascinating journey. And it almost makes me think about road trips and I love road trips, but the whole idea of a road trip is that it's the journey and not the destination. And so if you are on a road trip and the part about the driving is the part where you're like, Oh, this is the in between part you've literally missed.
[01:00:35] KELLY CONKRIGHT: The entire point of the trip, the whole point of the road trip is the music and the pictures and the sites and the diners and the chats. And that's the beauty of the journey. It's not once you arrive at the hotel and I, for me, that's life. And that's understanding yourself. And that's the, that's the fun.
[01:00:57] KELLY CONKRIGHT: That's the fun of life is understanding ourselves and peeling back the layers all the time. And then adding new things in, how do, I mean, how do you feel about that?
[01:01:04] ERIKA STRAUB: I mean, I love that the in between, like I speak so much into that because we're, we live, we have more in between moments than we do departure and arrival.
[01:01:15] ERIKA STRAUB: Like, we actually spent most of our life in the in between, so why aren't we sinking into that and, like, being with that? But I think that, that asks us to step into some of our femininity, right? To be in that, that flow and that unknown and to see a diner and be like, we're doing that now. And then to go And be spontaneous.
[01:01:33] ERIKA STRAUB: Get lost, you know, but I do think it requires a level of safety in yourself and trust in yourself to allow yourself to enjoy the in between. Otherwise, I think it just becomes a bit overwhelming and we kind of either want to rush through it or check out. We're not actually like participating in it.
[01:01:52] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Yeah.
[01:01:53] KELLY CONKRIGHT: I'm obsessed that you brought up the in between because The other day I was going through my, the pictures on my iPhone and you've got these big moments, right? Where maybe it's a trip or maybe, um, it's an event. And then you've got these other pictures that are super random. It was, it's like, you look really gross and you're in the kitchen with your sister at like eight o'clock in the morning, you know, or, and, and the only pictures I loved were all the in between moments I was like, Oh my God, that's, I need to start taking more pictures of my real life.
[01:02:27] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Which is the in between moments.
[01:02:29] ERIKA STRAUB: Yeah, you just unlocked something for me in saying that, like, so deeply. Like, I think in my personal brand, I'm unraveling the curated piece of it. And that's like a slow journey for me because there's so much vulnerability in that. But, allowing to like, unravel the curated piece of it, like, If you, if you were like a perfect example of me is if you would look at my Instagram from the beginning, which is actually terribly embarrassing, but it's still there because that was who I was when I started.
[01:03:02] ERIKA STRAUB: And I think I love that you kept it. I love that you kept it journey. Um, but all the way through there's kind of been a curation to it. And so that's so interesting to me, right. That tells me something about myself. And now I'm in this chapter of I'm really craving non curated. Moments like my, my writing and my words are always going to be there and they're going to evolve and they're going to move with me, but like how I put those into pieces of content, like just letting go of the perfectionism right the perfectionism was so tied to the anxiety and the like, I have to control all of this and now it's like.
[01:03:38] ERIKA STRAUB: Wow. This womb space is like, I really want to just be fucking wild and just let it be what it is and be imperfect and all of that gooey stuff. And I think about like, what's giving me the capacity to tap into that. And it's because I feel held. I truly feel held in my life, like by community, by really healthy masculine men, by doing even this event, like I had no idea what this event was going to bring me, but dropping into this conversation with you, like opening this up, like, I don't know about you, you might be stuck with me, but I'm like, we are forever connected now and we are going to go do mushrooms and we are going to go on a road trip.
[01:04:17] ERIKA STRAUB: We're going to do this.
[01:04:18] KELLY CONKRIGHT: I mean, for whoever listens to this, you know, video, get ready for some content with Eric and I about our next mushroom trip. About our, our road trip and in between moments, get ready for some ugly pictures on Instagram. 8am
[01:04:36] ERIKA STRAUB: selfies with no makeup and drums on my face. I don't know.
[01:04:41] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Yeah, I mean, you know, I think we were all a lot of people I know are recovering perfectionists. Me included. I'm not fully recovered. Um, Right. Because I, I still, because I'm a business owner, I still feel some nervousness around credibility, but we're whole humans. Like Jay Shetty, he shows his smart speeches.
[01:05:08] KELLY CONKRIGHT: He also shows really funny moments at home with his wife because he's a whole person.
[01:05:13] ERIKA STRAUB: Yeah, and I want people in my space, whether it's business or personal, that really can like tolerate a whole person. Yeah. I don't want to be a guru. I don't want to be on a pedestal. I'm not above you. I'm, I'm meeting where you are and this is a reciprocal dance we're doing and I'm going to hold boundaries and structure, right?
[01:05:33] ERIKA STRAUB: I'm going to hold my integrity. But for me to love my work and be passionate about it, like I got to start bringing all parts of me forward. And you, you gave me that in my business. Like that was the gift of your workshop is like, it opened access for me to share all parts. And maybe I'm not sharing all parts, but a lot more parts.
[01:05:53] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Okay. This has been a really fun experience because yeah, that makes me really happy and yeah, just like we all have so much to give when we share our whole self. And it's, it's, I think we're like at about time and I think it's, it's pretty crazy that you naturally ended up where we started because you said, meet you where you are, which was my story of my equine learning and the horse.
[01:06:23] KELLY CONKRIGHT: The horse that met me where I was.
[01:06:25] ERIKA STRAUB: Oh yeah! Oh, I love full circle moments. That was a full circle
[01:06:29] KELLY CONKRIGHT: moment! Unconsciously too, I didn't even know. Maybe I'll someday get the confidence to ride a horse, and then I can actually buy the cool stylish outfit.
[01:06:38] ERIKA STRAUB: I will support you in that journey
[01:06:40] KELLY CONKRIGHT: all the way. I love the outfit so much.
[01:06:42] KELLY CONKRIGHT: I could, I just to get over my fear, just so I can buy the boots.
[01:06:46] ERIKA STRAUB: I need to, I need to share with you my competition jacket because it's this beautiful purple and it's so taboo in, in the sport. So we'll talk about that later, but I have to show you it. Cause it's. It's just like perfection. It's so beautiful.
[01:07:01] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Oh, I can't wait to see it.
[01:07:02] ERIKA STRAUB: But to close today, I want to ask you one final question because we didn't necessarily define this. I think we touched into it in so many ways, but what does intimacy mean to you? How do you define it? How do you hold it?
[01:07:17] KELLY CONKRIGHT: I mean, intimacy to me is letting someone see all the parts of you, the good and the bad.
[01:07:24] KELLY CONKRIGHT: And then on the other end, because it's a relationship, the person accepting all those parts of you. And I think about Esther Perel and with, you know, there's sex and there's friends and family, but with sex, you create a safe space to really explore and be your full self. And then the pleasure is so much higher.
[01:07:44] KELLY CONKRIGHT: And so one, when we have intimacy, true intimacy with friends, family, a partner, the pleasure is so much higher. And it, when I. Had that authentic moment telling my story of overcoming my fear in my speech. It just cracked open this, you know, this environment for everybody to share the good and the bad parts of themselves.
[01:08:08] KELLY CONKRIGHT: And again, the pleasure increased in a weird way. Hey, this is what's horrible about me. And we're all like laughing and hugging.
[01:08:15] ERIKA STRAUB: You just unlocked something for me in that, in that definition, the acceptance piece, being part of the intimacy piece. Because you like, is it intimacy? If there is no acceptance, no self acceptance, no other acceptance, I'm not sure I'm going to have to sink into that, but that's really,
[01:08:32] KELLY CONKRIGHT: I had to have my ex boyfriend fully accept me to start to show me how to accept myself.
[01:08:39] KELLY CONKRIGHT: I know that's probably not the right way to go about it. You should accept yourself first, but his deep acceptance of humans really was a teacher for me because then I blossomed as who I was. And so I want to provide that gift for everybody in my life now.
[01:08:58] ERIKA STRAUB: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Same. And the pleasure piece, like that's something that's awakening in me too, in this journey with more intimacy, having these conversations, like I'm going to be on a pleasure high the rest of the night, you know, like that, like being filled up like that is it's.
[01:09:16] ERIKA STRAUB: It's magic. Like, I think this safety that we all want is the connection that we all long for, but it takes like going here, going to these places, looking at these things, showing up, showing all parts of us, but it's so worth it. So we're. Yeah. So Kelly, where can everyone find you? Where's the best, best place for them to go?
[01:09:39] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Absolutely. So you can go to my website, which is the brand terminal. com. Um, and also, um, my personal Instagram, which is Kelly Conkright and the brand terminal Instagram as well. And if anybody out there wants to, Coaching sessions. Um, I offer that as well.
[01:10:00] ERIKA STRAUB: We will link all of that in the show notes so that if anyone would like to do some personal branding, they will have direct access to you.
[01:10:09] KELLY CONKRIGHT: Amazing. Thank you, Erica. This is, this has been so fun.
[01:10:13] ERIKA STRAUB: Thank you so much. I just, I, I'm just so filled up right now. I adore you. Your story has inspired me and I can't wait for the stories that we're going to create and share. It sounds like it's all coming. It's all unfolding. Thank you so much. Have a great night.
[01:10:32] ERIKA STRAUB: Okay. Bye.